I am a skeptic. I hate emails from friends, co-workers, and family members that tell me I can make money on the latest Microsoft-AOL merger or that I will be burned to death in my sleep by plug-in air fresheners. The only thing I do with those emails is reply with a link to Snopes.com (one of the greatest gifts of the Internet). I think those types of stories are so popular because people WANT to believe them. How great would it be if we actually could make $40,000 just for forwarding some stupid email to all of our friends?
It was with this skeptical eye that I learned the following:
Two retired New York City police detectives have recently gone public with the fact that they have uncovered a secret, nationwide, sophisticated network of killers targeting young, drunk, male college students.
The killers strike after the young men have been out getting hammered at parties or at bars with friends. In all the cases the young men leave the company of friends at some point to stagger home, but never make it. They turn up drowned a few days later in local rivers or lakes. The men are not the victims of misadventure, but rather they are targeted by a group dubbed "The Smiley Faced Killers". The moniker comes from the fact that smiley faces are graffitied near where the bodies are located.
At first I had trouble understanding how two professional criminal investigators could come to such a conclusion. Then I remembered how generous Bill Gates is. You see, the police, victims families, and news organizations all WANT this story to be true. The police want it to be true because it confirms what they have learned after years of working a job that shows the worst things people do...in short, that there are a lot of fu##ed up people in the world! The victim's families want this to be true because it explains to them the unexplainable: How could a vibrant, strong, smart young man, suddenly be snuffed out without any warning? The families don't want this to be in any way the fault of their young son or nephew. If there is a dark force at work, they can turn some of that sadness into anger. Whatever it takes to make it through the loss I guess. The media wants it to be true because the headline of "Massive Nationwide Murder Conspiracy" sells more papers than "Young, Drunk, and Stupid".
Lets look at what we would have to believe if this scenario were in fact true:
(1) There is a group of sophisticated psychopathic killers operating simultaneously in several different States. (No, I'm not talking about the NBA).
(2) For the last 10 to 12 years they have existed with the sole purpose of murdering college aged men.
(3) They have killed over 40 people in at least six States.
(4) All of the victims were drowned (or at the very least put into the water after being killed with no conspicuous sign of trauma or foul play).
(5) The group is so skilled at their dastardly deeds, that they have left no evidence tying the crimes together except a spray painted smiley face that they use as their "calling card". In fact, the killers are so sophisticated that they have fooled dozens of police agencies that have investigated these deaths and ruled them accidental or suicide.
Now, lets look at it with a skeptical eye.
(1) According to the CDC, In 2004, males accounted for 78% of fatal unintentional drownings in the United States.
(2) Also per the CDC (and common sense) Alcohol influences balance, coordination, and judgment and increases the risk for death by accidental drowning.
(3) These types of deaths are sadly commonplace. You can find dozens of stories (some of which have been "identified" as victims of the serial killer) at Footprints at the Rivers Edge, an informational blog on this issue. One of the stories at the site is about Iowa State University student Abel Bolanos.
(4) It appears that in most of the deaths, the body of water was on the route home, or wherever the victim was headed when they went missing.
(5) According to the detectives, the smiley faces they find are different shapes and colors. Not a very good way to announce your work, if that is what was intended.
(6) The bodies are usually found in urban areas where graffiti is common. A smiley face is a common graffiti symbol because of the ease with which it is made (look at the graffiti on a freight train the next time it goes by).
People naturally want to search for answers when a young person meets an untimely end. It bothers me that some people find their answers in bogeymen and legends. I know it possible that in a small number of those cases the person may have met his end at the hands of the wicked. One or more of them may have been robbed, thrill-killed, or the victim of some evil intent. But, the more likely explanation is simple misadventure (See the recent FBI PRESS RELEASE). Alcohol distorts our thinking and lowers our inhibition; ever hear of beer goggles?...beer muscles?
What really troubles me as a criminal defense attorney is the mindset of the police officers that created this theory. How many real murders have been "solved" with a weak or outlandish theory that was concocted by a police officer with too much time on his hands and too vivid an imagination. How many people have been put to death or sent to prison for life because some cop labeled them a killer? Ask Rubin Carter, or read The Innocent Man, by John Grisham.
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